One of the secrets of successful people — perseverance and courage. Not surprisingly, most parents try to educate their children in the first place it is these qualities, and not politeness and sensitivity. But psychologists believe that the harmonious character necessary both poles, writes Woman's Day.
Bravery and mental stability should not develop to the detriment of kindness and ability to empathize. These so-called "Pro-social" qualities help to build healthy relationships at home, at work and in society, and help to achieve greater satisfaction with themselves.
"We came to the conclusion that the expression of empathy, altruism and empathy are much more important than originally thought," says Dr. Maurice Pleas, Professor in clinical psychology at the University Rutgers. "The long-term path to true happiness is through the attention and assistance of others," he said.
Key social quality, developing in the first years of life and form links in our brain. "Even in old age, children exhibit social behavior. It is extremely important that parents and carers helped to develop and channel those qualities," says Ellen Booth Church, Professor, University of Nova Southeastern . "The results of the study show that children who at an early age learned to be part of a group, respect the opinions of others, to listen quietly and share ideas without interrupting the other, reach more success later" — she notices.
How to develop in our children an appreciation and empathy? Here are some tips from experts to parents to strengthen the "muscles of goodness" in children:
Be an example of kindness
"Your speech in the presence of children directly or indirectly displays your values. The more children hear, the better they learn and rather they adhere to," says child psychologist and expert in education Dr. Sylvia RIMM, author of 24 books. Be careful what and how you say and don't let rude and unkind words, even if you believe that children can't hear you.
Accept your mistakes
If you're offended, upset or disappointed child, admit it. "We expect kids will take us as an example, but we are often frustrated, and then they have a hard time," explains clinical social worker and writer Carla Naumburg.
Be kind to your children
We don't want our children "wiped his feet", but "kindness and willpower are two different things," says Naumburg. Define the boundaries of empathy: instead of insults make sentences, for example: "I don't like it when you (action)".
Discard the negative internal dialogue
If you neglect to treat their looks, their work or themselves, your children will follow your example. "To build full trust relationships with children, you need to be at peace with themselves," says psychologist Liba Lurie.
Give children your undivided attention
In early childhood the child develops the frontal lobe of the brain responsible for deciphering social interactions, and depends on actual human interaction. Reduce the time you spend on your computer or gadgets, and give the child the attention which will help them to develop the capacity for empathy.
Select the organization where you want the physical part. Thus your child will gain a positive experience of helping others.
Expand your horizons
To invite a person from a different social circle or invite a child to attend the birthday of a classmate, with whom he is not very close contact. Encourage your child's desire to communicate with people from different social groups.
Talk about empathy
Ask your child questions that will help develop empathy for people who suffer from unfair treatment. Invite your child to imagine what it's like to be alone. If your child shows the brutality, try to figure out what the cause of this behavior.
Teach your child to "read" people
Teach your child to listen and recognize tone of voice, posture and facial expressions to recognize different emotions of other people.
Take a pet from a shelter
Studies show that children who care about animals, increased capacity for empathy.
Learn about new cultures
Talk about other societies with sensitivity and kindness. For example, the American Indians believe that generosity is a given: the meaning of any of the property is to share it with others. Monotheistic religions and other religions encourage compassion and empathy through deeds, full of loving-kindness.